25

There comes a point in every woman's life when she starts denying her true age. I think I've been there for about three years now, but I'm seriously freaking out about turning 25 tomorrow. Just last week I was mistaken for being in high school! I don't want to be that young again, but 25 just sounds like a defining point in life. Like, by the time you are a quarter of a century old, you probably should have life figured out and have your crap together. And I definitely don't. I have been watching this show Younger, and on there the girls are 26 and have actual careers. And on the Bachelor (because reality tv is the best thing to compare your life to) the women are generally 24-26, but they look their age and seem well put together, and mostly I'm just wondering when all that is going to happen for me. At what age am I going to feel like "yes, I am this age. I feel confident enough to tell people that I am this age and feel that my life accomplishments are equal to my number of years of being on this earth."

When I did my internship at Sky View, I remember thinking that all the high school girls were so put together and confident. How the heck did I miss that stage in high school? I feel like I have grown into that just within the last few years, but it is still something I am working on every day. If people can master that at the age of 17, I should have it down by now too, right? I guess that's where the real struggle with my age comes in-I just feel a few years behind. Pretty soon I'll be thirty, and that's like real adult years, and I just don't know that I'm ready for that yet.

In light of year 25 being sort of a big one, I have decided to write down 25 goals. Some of them are small and petty, and some are things that I feel like I am sort of doing already, but putting things in writing always makes them more important, right? So here we go.

1. Finish my book-I have been working on this dang thing since April and it's about time I finish it. I am in the preliminary editing stages now and am just over a third of the way through. It's strange to think that soon I will be done, and handing it off to other eyes for editing. On that note...
2. Stop being so hypercritical of my work. Whether it is with my writing, craft projects, decorations in our house, anything, I constantly feel like anything I create is not good enough for other people to see. I need to start recognizing when I have done a good job and just let that be enough.
3. Be excited for other people. I already love getting excited for other people and their exciting decisions in life, but I recently read a blog post by a girlfriend of mine (read it here) and have gotten really into the idea of "squad." Just having each other's backs and being supportive of people even if their decisions are different than your own. The beauty of life is that we can all be individuals and still support each other.
4. Travel more
5. Exercise more-and I don't mean like go to the gym every day, but get fit in my own way. Dancing, running, simply getting out and doing things instead of sitting on my butt in front of the couch with some Ben & Jerry's in hand. Although there will be plenty of days for that too.
6. Don't be so quick to say no.
7. Don't be so quick to write myself off.
8. Be up for adventures.
9. Stop stressing about the little things.
10. Know my strengths.
11. Take more pictures.
12. Ignore the haters.
13. Go to more concerts.
14. Maintain strong relationships with my family even though we live in different cities now.
15. Let the positive things people say about/to me affect me more than the negative.
16. Allow time/room for myself in my own life. I have a tendency to put other people's needs above my own, which is a good thing, but I need to allow myself to do things too!
17. Make decisions when it is important to do so.
18. Try new things. But when I say things I mostly mean food.
19. Cook more and try new recipes.
20. Cook more big meals on the weekends with Brandon. Cooking is one of our favorite things to do together, and we definitely don't do it enough.
21. Laugh more.
22. Stop being defensive before I need to be.
23. Continue learning French.
24. Read more.
25. Surround myself with people who allow me to be myself and don't make me feel insecure. And also stop allowing other people to make me feel insecure.

I don't know that I have a good feeling about year 25, but I haven't had any bad years so far, so bring it on world. Teach me new lessons and continue to mold me into the adult that I someday may be. Here's to getting old(er).