If you know me well, you know that I can cry at the drop of a hat. Happy movie, boom. Tears. Something sad happens in life, more tears. Someone gives me a cookie, floodgates open. Okay, I'm exaggerating on that last one, but you get the gist of it. When Brandon came home last weekend to help me pack up the house a bit, I knew that it was the start of an emotional nine days. Once we started taking the decorations off the wall, the house didn't quite feel like home anymore. I started crying, and I'm pretty sure I haven't stopped since. And thus the waterproof mascara days were born.
It has been relatively easy to not be sad about the whole move, because I just don't think about it and then I'm fine. And luckily, I have been busy enough with packing and running errands and social events that there hasn't been much time to think about it. But I'm starting to let myself think about it more and more, and I feel like I can justify being sad because I have been really good about keeping it together. But it sucks, I can't lie. And for some reason, during all these social things I have been doing, I find myself (multiple times) breathing in the reality that it's probably one of the last times I will be doing that specific thing. It's a bittersweet feeling, because I sit there smiling, realizing how lucky I am to have these people in my life, and then I just start crying because I don't want to leave them.
The whole process has been like slowly ripping off a Band-Aid. We found out six weeks ago that we would be moving, so I've had six weeks to slowly, very slowly, say goodbye to our life here. Even though Brandon had to leave earlier than I did, I envy the fact that he just got to leave. We had his last day of work, we packed him up, and then left the next day for Salt Lake. I have been saying goodbye to my coworkers, my family, and the house for a long time now, and I am honestly just ready for it to be over. I'm ready for one last, big cry, so that I can just start the grieving process and let the feeling of missing people slowly start to fade.
A few things.
-Last week a friend at work sent out an invite to the entire staff for a going away mourning/celebration on my behalf. So many people showed up, and it was one of those times that I just kept thinking about how lucky I was, and how much I am going to miss all my co-workers. They have taught me so much, and have helped shaped me into the "professional" (if I can even call myself that-because also I spelled professional wrong the first time I typed it) that I am in the school system.
-I said goodbye to two of my coworkers yesterday, and it was terrible. One just kept telling me not to cry, which almost made it worse, except he's a big, scary cop so I decided to listen to him.
-I finally got a girlfriend in Boise for a little bit, and said goodbye to her and her husband last night too. We had bachelor nights for the last few weeks, and are already planning to Skype as we watch it through the rest of the season.
Today is my last day working at Lewis and Clark, and I am so sincerely sad. The people here are some of the kindest, funniest, hardest working people I know, and I am so lucky to have had the chance to work with them. I can only hope that the next chapter of my life provides me with people who are as wonderful as the ones here.
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