A small dose of fear.

To everyone who has ever been upset with me for saying I hate Logan or that I won't miss it when I'm gone: Sorry.

But only a little bit. I mean really, this town is sort of a drag sometimes. The fact that it's freezing cold and extremely miserable five months out of the year makes it a little unbearable. When a majority of the people in Logan hang out at a Wal-Mart on a Saturday night rather than attending some fun event (which is a rare occurrence in the town), you know there's a problem. And trust me. There have been plenty of weekends when we've had nothing to do, so I check the calendars of events for Logan, North Logan, Wellsville, Providence, Smithfield, and the university and there is literally nothing going on. But I'm still alive and still here, so it obviously hasn't been too terrible. But still. You all understand my feelings, at least a little bit.

All that being said, I'm almost a little bit frustrated at how internally resistant I'm being to the idea of leaving Logan. I have made a lot of memories in Logan, good and bad. I spent so long wanting to run away from the bad memories, and it has finally been long enough that they don't bother me that much anymore. And now, more and more good memories keep resurfacing and keep being made, and I don't really want to leave them. I made a lot of good friends since I have been here, found the best husband ever and married him here, surprisingly enjoyed attending Utah State (despite their lack of efficiency in certain aspects), and had a lot of great experiences with working and an internship. Each year has held so many special memories for me that I won't ever forget, even the times that were covered with a little bit of darkness. I'm comfortable with my life here. I don't know if "happy" is the right word, but I could live here and be content for a little while longer.

I honestly don't intend for this to be a dramatic post, but with my job interview in two days, I can't help but feel a little more anxious than usual! I wasn't sure how this job was going to work out, because I thought it was just an hourly position with no benefits (which we would like since Brandon turns 26 in May and will no longer be on his parents' insurance), but this morning I found the job posting for the position I am interviewing for, and it says there is a possibility of full time. This job is something I am sincerely interested in, especially if it means that I get to work with students in a school. If everything plays out, we could be moving to Boise in less than a month. Those of you who know me well know that I'm a planner, and that a lack of structure makes me go crazy. Reality is starting to hit today, and guess what, there is no structure. None! Ahh! I have been struggling to just stay in my chair and not just sit under my desk curled up in a little ball.

But it's all going to be okay, at least that's what everyone keeps telling me. And to some extent, I know they are right. Okay, I completely know they are right. We aren't moving until at least one of us has a job, we always can stay with my parents if we need to (which we probably will, so mom, prepare yourself), and in the end, I always have Brandon. One of my biggest fears is that we won't make any friends. But at least we have each other. And my family, they don't have the option to be our friends, its practically mandated.

Thanks for reading and dealing with my stress. Words of encouragement are always welcome, but if you want to just tell me to suck it up, I would understand that too :)

January

January has been a fairly exciting month so far. Really, the time that has passed since Christmas has been filled with fun and excitement and the best thing of all: free time to do whatever we want because we have no homework.  It still hasn't really hit me that we have graduated from college. That's a big deal right? Why do I not feel like it should be more of a big deal than it is now? By the time the actual graduation ceremony rolls around, we will only have four months of freedom left. I know Brandon can tell a difference. He was so busy during the last semester that he probably doesn't even know what to do with himself now that he doesn't have at least three hours of homework each night. And I can tell a difference because, well, I'm bored. I am working full time at the library now, and as much as I love books, it doesn't compare to how much I loved working with everyone at the high school last semester, students included.

Oh well I guess. Life goes on.

Brandon has officially been accepted to grad school. He got an emailed copy of his official acceptance letter yesterday, the real one should be here any day. He also was awarded a scholarship that will waive half of his out of state tuition! I'm so dang proud of him, he worked really hard these past few years to ensure that we can have a good future.

We have been applying for jobs in Boise like crazy. So far, nothing has worked out, but I have a job interview next Friday up there! The position is a Psychosocial Rehabilitation Specialist with kids up to age 18. That means that I would be working with kids that have mental health problems like depression, ADHD, or have experienced neglect in some form and teaching them the necessary skills to improve their lives. I am super excited for the opportunity. They have contracts with some of the schools in Boise where they have these specialists actually in the school working with students, and I would absolutely love that. In fact I think I would prefer it! So we will see what happens there! We could be moving to Boise any time now!

We recently got gym memberships. Like, two days ago, so that's pretty fun! Really I just wanted it so I would have a place to go running, but for only $10 a month I feel like it is completely worth it!

And that's all I really have for you! The life of a college grad is not much more exciting than the life of a college student!