New blog.

For those of you who don't have Facebook or Instagram, I thought I would post this information here. I have a new blog! Blogging is something that I have always loved doing, so I thought it was time that I put a little more stock into the appearance and namesake of the blog. The new blog can be found here. Brandon came up with the name, Freckle Eye Fancy. I follow a blog titled Barefoot Blonde, so he took a similar idea and applied to it to me, because of the freckles in my eyes. It's laughable though, because I'm definitely the opposite of fancy.

Anyway, the blog will be the same as this one, just with more posts about more things, and it looks prettier too! For family that gets emails every time I post, there is a spot on the homepage where you can subscribe for updates, so it will send you an email every time I post something!

Be sure to check it out so you don't miss anything!

An ode to my first novel.

I started writing this novel on April 17, 2015. I only know that because I just looked, I wanted to know how long I have been working on this dang thing. It was slow going in the beginning, because it was nearing the end of the school year, and I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted to do with it. Like, I wanted to write the book, but how? How does someone just sit down and pound out 100,000 words, coherent words, and string them together to make sentences and chapters? That's not even possible!!!

Then in the summer, I kind of hit my stride. I was spending eight hours a day in a classroom, basically just sitting there, so I used the time to write. And when I say write, I mean physically writing. I have an entire notebook full from all the things I wrote last summer just sitting in my nightstand, waiting to either be burned, or put up in a museum. (side note: carrying a notebook with Taylor Swift's on it around a high school does not make you feel as cool as you probably think it should). And then, of course, school started again, and then we got busy and then the move...just a lot of things that were more important than writing. So for a long time it just seemed like a never-ending project.

But I finished it today.

I know it needs to be edited and read by other people and re-edited and maybe it won't go anywhere. But I freaking wrote a book. I feel like for a person to write a book, they have a ton of feelings and words to put on paper, and I thought I had a lot of both those things, but think about people who write more than even five or ten books! That's so crazy! And so time-consuming and imagination consuming...I guess I have a lot more respect for the process now that I have finished mine.

Anyway. I wanted to get all these thoughts out, because writing this book has been sort of therapeutic for me. There were days that it left me feeling sad and drained, and there were days that I was elated after spending hours on a certain scene. I keep telling people that I couldn't wait to finish it, because all I wanted to do was print it off and burn it. And now it's done and I am thoroughly looking forward to roasting a marshmallow over the pages.

I'm not going to say what it's about, you can find out if it ever gets published, but I don't even care about that. When I was little, it was always a goal of mine to write a book, and now I can say that I did it. It took me just over a year, but it's done.

A Grand Adventure.

I had to write this post a day in advance so that I could compose my thoughts well enough that any single person who is not me can actually understand what I am saying. And rereading it this morning, I see that I didn't do a very good job haha. Here's the thing: I'm pregnant and my brain has turned to mush. Literal mush. Sometimes I feel like I'm lucky to be able to string together five cohesive words in a day.

Let's start with the whole "I'm pregnant" thing: I'M FREAKING PREGNANT! We had been trying for a while, and things just weren't working out, so we kind of just assumed it wasn't in the cards at this point. Then we moved to Utah and I drank the water, and if you've ever been to Utah you know what the water does to the women around here. It feels like literally everyone is pregnant. Just in the past three weeks I can think of at least five people who have announced their pregnancy on Facebook. But how fun will that be for our little nugget?! So many potential friends for them! A few details:

1. As of today we are thirteen weeks along. We decided to wait until now, just because of the whole risk thing, but I am honestly surprised that I haven't badgered Brandon more about telling everyone early. He was the first one to know, and then I told a few of my friends, then after what seemed like a million years we finally told our families, but I am happy for word to finally be out. Not that it makes a difference that the whole world knows, but it will be nice for it to not be a secret anymore.

2. We are due November 2nd which seems like a couple thousand years away at this point, but I know it will go quickly. We are mostly just ready to start buying stuff and start prepping, but even now feels a little early.

3. Food cravings/aversions are weird and I sort of hate them. I love eating, so I hate not knowing what to eat/feeling like I don't actually want to eat anything.

So far, I feel like I have been pretty lucky when it comes to symptoms. I haven't been sick at all, just nauseous, so that is a huge blessing. I have mostly just been super tired, and keep waiting for that stage to go away, but then I remember that I'm going to be tired for the rest of my life, so I just keep chugging along!

Sometimes it still doesn't feel real, and I feel like I'm just this big hypochondriac that is making up all these ill symptoms, but then I see the ultrasound posted on the fridge and remember that the tiny thing is inside me all the time. It's the weirdest, coolest thing I think I will ever experience. Which is actually what I think I said about the catacombs in Paris too, but being pregnant definitely wins. We can't wait to meet our little nugget!!

Family Vacay.

I'm not quite sure how I overlooked this, but somehow I never blogged about our short vacation in California with my family. My spring break was a measly Thursday-Sunday, and we were originally planning to go to Boise to visit the fam, but easily changed our plans (because California, duh) when they invited us to join them the last half of their spring break in Anaheim. We flew in late Wednesday night after our flight had been delayed, which is seemingly becoming the norm for us and I don't like it. Anyway. The whole family-parents, brothers, grandma, and girlfriends-all piled in the expedition and met us at LAX. My favorite thing was the cargo carrier they had attached to the back of the car; it just made me think of all those family vacation movies, where there's just too many people and suitcase and not enough space. I could not stop laughing. I probably was mostly delirious from flying so late.

That first night was my mom's birthday, and the next day was my grandma's birthday! She had wanted to go to Disneyland, so we all woke up bright and early to make it to the happiest place on earth! The park was pretty busy, considering it was probably most of the country's spring break, but we didn't have to wait in line for anything longer than 45 minutes. We rode all the best rides, ate all the necessary foods (dole whips, Mickey pretzels, and Mickey ice cream bars) and had some good old-fashioned family fun. My parents even treated us all to lunch at The Blue Bayou inside of Pirates,  and it was amazing. I had this sandwich that came with three different sweet sauces to dip it in...I still dream about it all the time. It had been a while since we had done Disney with my family, so I was happy that we were able to go and have a magical day.

The next day was Adrian's birthday! My baby bro is eighteen now...weird. He wanted to spend his special day at Six Flags, so the adventurous group (everyone besides mom and grandma) went and rode rides, ate more great park food, and spent time in the warm sunny weather. That night, per Adrian's request, we had Panda Express for dinner and watched Modern Family in the hotel room while we ate.

The morning after, my family got on the road early to make half the drive back to Boise. It was a quick trip with them, but we were happy to have some time with them! Our flight didn't leave LA until five that night, so Brandon and I spent most of the day shopping and eating at Downtown Disney. We bought our traditional Mickey caramel apple, and spent hours searching for a puzzle we had seen in the park, but so stupidly waited to buy until our time in Downtown Disney. We never did find the puzzle, but we did get sunburned from spending so much time just hanging out outside.

I wish we lived closer to Disney, we would totally get annual passes and go all the time. We are going back over Memorial Weekend with our friends, and this time are doing California Adventure, and also Wizarding World! Now that Wizarding World is open in California, maybe we'll splurge and get annual passes to both anyway. We'll see what happens.

six years later.

Today is the anniversary of something randomly wonderful for me, something that I feel like needs a blog post dedicated to it. I can't even write this post without getting sentimental and making the whole experience seem like a bigger deal than it probably is to most people, so sorry in advance for making it sound like the most magical thing in the world.

Six years ago today I had my first day of work at the movie theater. It was meant to be just a second summer job, something else to occupy my time in addition to my library shifts and help me earn extra money to put toward a new car. By the end of my first shift, I could tell that not only was it going to be a super fun second job, but also that it was probably going to change my life somehow.

It was so much fun working with as many people as I did, and meeting a whole new group of people my own age. I made a lot of friends quickly, and developed a strong friend base that I hung out with the good majority of that summer and fall. The job allowed me to develop a life  outside of campus life, and start fresh with new people, which allowed me to be myself and not feel like I didn't live up to the standard of "good enough" which is how I felt during the school year. I fit right in at the theater, and being myself was good enough.

The environment at the theater was loud and crazy compared to the nice quiet that I had at the library every day, and I loved it. We were a well-oiled machine that got to hang out with friends (each other) in between sets, and have free popcorn and soda as often as we wanted. And free movies was a perk too. I went to movies all the time with my new friends, and felt so at home. It was like a tiny piece of my heart had been saved for me there, and I got it back when I started the job.

That summer at the movie theater led to some of the worst, and the best times of my life. It was supposed to be a four-month job, but I ended up being there for sixteen months. Without the theater, I wouldn't have figured out what I wanted to do with my life. I probably would still be struggling through a Spanish Ed. degree, hating life. Without the theater, I wouldn't have met Brandon, and I don't even need to go in detail about what a wonderful thing that is.

To sum it up, I just am really grateful for the start of a super important time in my life. I think back on those days a lot, and I honestly am not sure where I would be without them.

25

There comes a point in every woman's life when she starts denying her true age. I think I've been there for about three years now, but I'm seriously freaking out about turning 25 tomorrow. Just last week I was mistaken for being in high school! I don't want to be that young again, but 25 just sounds like a defining point in life. Like, by the time you are a quarter of a century old, you probably should have life figured out and have your crap together. And I definitely don't. I have been watching this show Younger, and on there the girls are 26 and have actual careers. And on the Bachelor (because reality tv is the best thing to compare your life to) the women are generally 24-26, but they look their age and seem well put together, and mostly I'm just wondering when all that is going to happen for me. At what age am I going to feel like "yes, I am this age. I feel confident enough to tell people that I am this age and feel that my life accomplishments are equal to my number of years of being on this earth."

When I did my internship at Sky View, I remember thinking that all the high school girls were so put together and confident. How the heck did I miss that stage in high school? I feel like I have grown into that just within the last few years, but it is still something I am working on every day. If people can master that at the age of 17, I should have it down by now too, right? I guess that's where the real struggle with my age comes in-I just feel a few years behind. Pretty soon I'll be thirty, and that's like real adult years, and I just don't know that I'm ready for that yet.

In light of year 25 being sort of a big one, I have decided to write down 25 goals. Some of them are small and petty, and some are things that I feel like I am sort of doing already, but putting things in writing always makes them more important, right? So here we go.

1. Finish my book-I have been working on this dang thing since April and it's about time I finish it. I am in the preliminary editing stages now and am just over a third of the way through. It's strange to think that soon I will be done, and handing it off to other eyes for editing. On that note...
2. Stop being so hypercritical of my work. Whether it is with my writing, craft projects, decorations in our house, anything, I constantly feel like anything I create is not good enough for other people to see. I need to start recognizing when I have done a good job and just let that be enough.
3. Be excited for other people. I already love getting excited for other people and their exciting decisions in life, but I recently read a blog post by a girlfriend of mine (read it here) and have gotten really into the idea of "squad." Just having each other's backs and being supportive of people even if their decisions are different than your own. The beauty of life is that we can all be individuals and still support each other.
4. Travel more
5. Exercise more-and I don't mean like go to the gym every day, but get fit in my own way. Dancing, running, simply getting out and doing things instead of sitting on my butt in front of the couch with some Ben & Jerry's in hand. Although there will be plenty of days for that too.
6. Don't be so quick to say no.
7. Don't be so quick to write myself off.
8. Be up for adventures.
9. Stop stressing about the little things.
10. Know my strengths.
11. Take more pictures.
12. Ignore the haters.
13. Go to more concerts.
14. Maintain strong relationships with my family even though we live in different cities now.
15. Let the positive things people say about/to me affect me more than the negative.
16. Allow time/room for myself in my own life. I have a tendency to put other people's needs above my own, which is a good thing, but I need to allow myself to do things too!
17. Make decisions when it is important to do so.
18. Try new things. But when I say things I mostly mean food.
19. Cook more and try new recipes.
20. Cook more big meals on the weekends with Brandon. Cooking is one of our favorite things to do together, and we definitely don't do it enough.
21. Laugh more.
22. Stop being defensive before I need to be.
23. Continue learning French.
24. Read more.
25. Surround myself with people who allow me to be myself and don't make me feel insecure. And also stop allowing other people to make me feel insecure.

I don't know that I have a good feeling about year 25, but I haven't had any bad years so far, so bring it on world. Teach me new lessons and continue to mold me into the adult that I someday may be. Here's to getting old(er).

sojo and hocho.

I have officially lived in Utah (again) for eleven days now, and in my time here I have learned/relearned a few things:

• Utah is freaking cold. At least this part of it is. Everyone always said that Salt Lake and Boise were similar temperature-wise and I believed them but they lied!! It snowed for like four days straight last week and just overall has been very cold. A lady I work with told me that this is normal for Salt Lake, but they haven't had a "normal" winter in like ten years, so maybe this is just a fluke. Who knows.
• I can drive as fast as I want to work and will literally never get pulled over because there will always be someone driving faster than me.
• It's nice to live by friends.
• The mountains are so big and beautiful!! I don't feel quite as caged in by the mountains in Salt Lake as I did in Logan, so I'm very happy with them.
• If you are ever feeling homesick, go to Walmart. They are all mostly the same, so you can walk around and forget where you are while you are buying your self-pity pint of Ben & Jerry's. Side note: the walmart by my work puts the ice cream at the back of the store. What kind of sick joke is that? It's already bad enough that I'm going through self check out with literally only two pints of ice cream in hand, but to make me do the walk of shame all the way back to the freezer section and then back up to the front of the store?? Talk about kicking a lady while she's down. Geez.

Those are just some random things. Really though, our time here has been good so far. We have been living with Brandon's uncle, and have hopefully not been too much of an imposition. He has a mini schnauzer, and we have our two cats, so it's basically just hilarious to watch them interact. Brandon and I have stayed busy with our free time too, trying to make the time pass quickly so we can get to move-in day! We have seen three movies, spent our two Mondays watching The Bachelor (he's so good to me but Kayla I miss you!!), went to the Ice Castles in Midway, watched the Super Bowl with friends, have eaten out far too much, and sometimes we just drive to explore our new area. Where we live, and also where our new house is, is called South Jordan, or SoJo, if you are hip. I have never actually heard anyone call it that, but there is a SoJo Dental down the street from our house, and I think it's funny. 

Our house is about five minutes away from where we are staying now, so all the places we have been frequenting (Costa, Walmart, movie theater) will all still be our regular places once we move. The Walmart and Costa are about three minutes away from our house, and then there is a big shopping/dining/entertainment complex about seven minutes away, so everything is very close. It's a bit different than where our house in Boise was at in relation to everything! It takes me ten minutes to get to work, and about thirty five minutes for Brandon, which isn't terrible considering how far away we are from Salt Lake and also morning traffic. We could have lived closer, but when we came to explore the area we sort of just fell in love with South Jordan, and my job gave us the excuse to live here, so it all worked out!

My job is going well-I work with lots of great people (people my own age!) and I like what I do. I haven't worked directly with students with disabilities before, so this is different for me, but they are super fun. I definitely miss Lewis and Clark though. I miss what I did, the staff, and the students for sure. I'm still adjusting to this new position, but they love me, so I guess I'm doing something right.

Brandon starts a ten-day training session on Monday, and then after that he will be able to start doing some real work. He has been job-shadowing up until now, and I know he is excited to delve into it!

We sign our closing documents this afternoon and are more than ready to get the keys and move all our stuff in. Everyone is welcome to come help us move, and also to come stay with us anytime!